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我战胜恐惧,投入职场大展身手

李勇宏, 吉隆坡

原本应该在社会上大展身手的我感到迷惘,陷入更加深沉的恐惧漩涡里:我害怕面对未知的未来,也害怕要面对更多陌生人。

Nickson Lee我在一所国际学院任职财务部主管。我和团队每个月要处理上千位家长或学生缴交学费事宜。主动且耐心与对方沟通,理解对方的困境并献议解决方案,是我们工作的基本态度。

然而,我自小患上语言障碍、学习能力缓慢、内心充满恐惧感,工作所需的基本态度对我是一大挑战。

我自小就跟随父母参加创价学会活动。为了让我健康成长,父母除了接受医生建议,送我到一般托儿所与小朋友多玩耍、交流,也让我跟随哥哥一起学习珠心算,更鼓励我参加学会的少年部、文化组活动。学会里善良的前辈们对我关心备至,耐心聆听且一步步教导我信心,使我获益良多,也充满自信地度过了青春期。

升上大学后,来到一个全新且陌生的环境,一切从零起步。我开始感到莫名的恐惧,于是选择默不作声,不主动交流,几乎把自己的心封闭。渐渐地我发现自己害怕与陌生人交流、对话,也曾一度自我怀疑患上社交恐惧症。

直至大学第三年,SGM霹雳分会学生部在大学举办“和平日”展览,以宣扬池田先生的和平理念。我被委托担任活动总负责人。当时我的其中一项任务,是邀请校长及各科系教授出席活动开幕礼。此任务给我带来巨大的烦恼,内心的恐惧感无限扩大。但我自知这是必须跨越的一道槛,我诚实地回到御本尊跟前唱题祈愿:务必要涌现勇气与希望,跨越内心的恐惧。当我站在办公室门口踌躇不前时,我就在心里不断唱题,咬紧牙关敲开每一道门,诚心分享并邀请嘉宾出席。在大家的坚持努力下,活动圆满完成,我也松了一口气,内心感到无比欢喜,没有比战胜内心恐惧更高兴的了。

再度与恐惧感战斗

然而,潜藏于生命的恐惧感并没有因为一次战胜而远离我。毕业后,我呆在家里整整11个月,不是因为找不到工作,而是害怕找工作!

原本应该在社会上大展身手的我感到迷惘,陷入更加深沉的恐惧漩涡里:我害怕面对未知的未来,也害怕要面对更多陌生人。当时我留在宿舍,父母与亲友的关心都成了无法负荷的心理负担。父亲按月给我汇入生活费,我感到无比羞愧和自责,陷入日夜颠倒、颓废的生活。

我在心中呐喊,“到底要如何从黑暗的谷底重新站起来?”脑海涌现曾学习过的一节御书:“痛苦时就感到痛苦,快乐时就觉得快乐,是苦是乐都如实地接受,并一直唱念南无妙法莲华经吧。”(御书文白II,320页,白话)

我明白这是关乎人生的胜败,是转换宿命的一次奋战。于是我痛下决心,重新挑战唱题,以更坚定的心志祈愿要克服恐惧,找到工作让生活作息回归正常。同时鼓起更大勇气要持续参加学会活动。

后来,通过介绍,终于被一位公司老板以高薪聘请我成为私人助理。那是我毕业后的第一份工作。工作上需要见很多人,但我已拥有足够的勇气面对每一次的挑战。

Nickson Lee and comrades
勇宏(右一)与创价同志们


在财务工作散发人性光辉

我在目前就职的岗位已迈入第四年。与三至五人的团队为数千位学生和家长提供各种方案,包括特别分期付款计划、介绍企业资助或向银行申请贷学金等等,尽力协助他们缴交每个月的学费,让学生可以专注学习。

每当有多一位学生可以顺利缴交学费,我心里就感到喜悦。在充满数字的工作岗位上也可以发挥人性光辉,就如同池田先生所期望,青年要奉献社会,成为利他的人。

犹记得当我甫接手目前的工作时,严明的财务部总管针对每份报告的分类、步骤、准确性、格式、细节等仔细地提出要求。虽然他的反馈可能非常直接,但我最终意识到他的方法促使我成长和进步。起初,我觉得这很有挑战性,但我逐渐欣赏他设定的标准以及关注细节的重要性。

然而,我担心这会带来恶劣的工作环境,尤其是当我得知一位女同事被严厉斥责,甚至哭了起来。这促使我反思不同领导风格的影响。随着时间的推移,激励我营造一个更令人鼓舞和积极的工作环境。如今,我在职场上以鼓励代替批评,把所学到的经验,活用在引领、指导和监督员工的工作表现。通过良好的沟通,我们以更细心谨慎的态度做好每一份报告,在工作上把失误减到最低,确保按时完成每一项任务。

能够通过信心跨越恐惧的烦恼,我由衷地感恩。遇到自卑、缺乏自信的青年,我对他们感同身受,并懂得如何鼓励他们。今后,我将继续努力,在职场上精益求精,同时也不忘建设充满人性温暖的工作环境。

摘自2023年1月份《宇宙

Siow Yoon Kee had a long-standing ambition to become a doctor since his secondary school days. However, his motivation to save lives had not taken deep root.

During his college years, he battled gastrointestinal diseases and sought medical treatment from numerous doctors but to no avail. Coupled with a demanding schedule, he experienced immense stress and despair, even contemplating ending his life. Eventually, through the power of chanting Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo (daimoku), he realised that his illness was a consequence of an irregular lifestyle, and acknowledged his own arrogance and negligence in his faith. This profound experience led to a shift in his perspective on the purpose of becoming a doctor.

After graduating, he was filled with joy and excitement on his first day of work, being addressed as a doctor. However, that excitement didn’t last. The overwhelming workload, long hours, and the constant fear of being reprimanded for mistakes quickly diminished his initial joy. As a result, the tough realities of the job made him less motivated and less excited about the work he had to do.

Yoon Kee reflected, “I would feel annoyed by patients, especially during night shifts when they complained of pain. I would question them with a skeptical tone. It seemed like I had become a terrible doctor, losing my passion for the job. During those unpleasant days, it was through repeatedly chanting the daimoku that I gradually reflected on my own attitude.”

“I recall a training session for the Beacon Group, a medical group within Soka Gakkai Malaysia, where our seniors encouraged us to face the Gohonzon with our most authentic selves. Inspired by their guidance, I wholeheartedly put it into practice and truly felt the profound joy that daimoku brings. Chanting the daimoku is indeed the greatest of all joys.”

Doctor Siow Yoon Kee

The power of daimoku awakened a profound sense of compassion in Yoon Kee, inspiring him to strive in his human revolution and towards becoming a doctor who could genuinely listen to his patients’ voices.

“After a change in mindset, it was incredible how I found myself wanting to treat patients like family and making an effort to truly listen to their words. My colleagues also noticed that I was more energetic and confident.”

However, transformation takes time and effort. Yoon Kee realised that the biggest hurdle for a doctor is their own sense of superiority. Therefore, his aim was to cultivate resilience and to serve selflessly without seeking personal gain. With the goal of becoming a skilled listener, step by step he made steady progress.

“Once, there was a patient in the final stages of cancer who told me he felt hungry and wanted something to eat. Although I was busy with work, I took a couple of minutes to feed the patient before tending to other patients and resuming my duties. Sadly, the patient passed away thirty minutes later. It was a moment that made me appreciate the power and significance of chanting daimoku, as it enabled me to be there at a crucial time and fulfill the patient’s last wish.

“On another occasion, there was a patient who complained to me, pointing out, “You see, my hands are still swollen, and the medication you prescribed is not effective!” In that moment, I patiently reassured the patient, emphasizing the importance of trusting in the medication’s effectiveness. I assured them that if they maintained their belief, they would experience improvement quickly. As a result, after a few days, the patient’s hand recovered, and the swelling subsided.”

Yoon Kee’s transformation became increasingly apparent over time. Through the practice of faith, he has been forged into becoming a doctor with a sense of mission who confronts the challenges of society with determination. While he humbly recognizes his own areas for growth, he consistently emphasises his resolute dedication to becoming a proficient listener and continuously improving himself.

Adapted from Cosmic May 2017

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